did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
