I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I could have mohawked her pubes.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize