Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
