i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
