Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize