Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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