just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Randomize
