You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
