just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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