Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
