you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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