Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
