she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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