Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
