i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
