Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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