Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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