dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
