Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
its not stalking. its research.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
