Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
