The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
