How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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