Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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