So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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