There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize