i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize