let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
my being single is dangerous.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
