She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
