the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
