Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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