im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
