i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
