real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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