it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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