And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Randomize
