We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
