just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
