why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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