I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
