What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
