right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize