good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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