dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I have fence marks all over my body
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I love you. Go after that dick
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