Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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