I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
