she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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