she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
