I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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