You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize