I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
