I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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