he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
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