Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
